Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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