Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
