Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
