Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
