actually, I'm a sock model
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
