Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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