My first STD was from a foam party
tell your sister to shave her snatch
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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