fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We are all done wearing pants today
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
