Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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