Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
