No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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