Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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