return my video game
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
