Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
