Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
