How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
