I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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