My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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