Barsexuality is the new black.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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