I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
