Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.