So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine