Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been