i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.