Walk of Shame. In a state park.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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