My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I have peed in a lot of sinks
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
