Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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