I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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