I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
