I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
