i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
