we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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