hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
