He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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