Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
