No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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