U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
