I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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