He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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