My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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