After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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