So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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