I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
