butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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