Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
