the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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