and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
