Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
