ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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