It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
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