I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i dont even know how to be here
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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