You really coming over, don't trick.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You pole danced in your parka.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
