Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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