Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
