I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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