we're blogging at a bar
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
