So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize