I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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