Need sex. Gaining weight.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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