I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
