I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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