This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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