Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
