No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
