Barsexuality is the new black.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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