Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth