let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.