think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
